It is well known, that each of us experiences a moment differently. There is no such thing as “truth” but rather, our perspective, which is limited by the lens of our lived experience.
I have been thinking lately about how, even our own experience of the same thing, is constantly changing and evolving.
As a lifelong student of yoga, I am very familiar with the idea that we are different every time we step onto the mat. Some days, balance is utterly illusive. Other days, you are managing poses that you considered beyond your physical ability. Over time, this practice has taught me to smile “with your heart” when you get the wobbles, because we are forever in “practice” and not a finished product.
Surfing on the other hand, has been teaching me that the world around me is constantly changing and unpredictable and that if I show up, without sufficient attention, I will miss the opportunities. For the last 3 mornings, I have surfed my regular break at dawn and each morning has been a completely different experience.
On Monday, the waves were much bigger than I am comfortable with and I ended up being caught in the “crash zone” for an entire 4 wave set. I felt panicked and scared and struggled to catch my breath between waves. On Tuesday, an eery mist covered the ocean like clouds, dolphins were playing between the surfers and the sky was bathed in pink. I was in awe of the wonders that mother nature delivers. This morning, the sea was calm, the golden sunrise creating a glow along each peeling wave and the surfers shouted gleefully as one of our crew paddled out after a long absence from injury. I felt pure joy, connection with community in a place that holds meaning for me. But on each of those days, I was me and the sea was the sea.
Same place, same time, different experience.
So what does this have to do with mediations and negotiations?
Every time we meet at the table, nothing is the same. You could have the same people, talking about the same things, but have a different outcome or experience. Sometimes the differences are small and happy, and sometimes they are unexpected and unpleasant. But on each occasion, you are still you and the process is still, just a process. Notice the differences but don’t let them mean anything more than what they are. There are a lot of good things happening at that table, and you are an important part of it.
Happy Negotiating!
